"Why isn't it working? I'm not getting any results!"
I won't tell you how many times I've heard that as a trainer, because I'm not sure that you'd believe me. I've seen so many people come and go in the gym that after a while it's easy to get jaded and cynical. Not just about your new clients, but about people in general. Our tendency to play the victim is especially made manifest when it comes to health and fitness. And yet, a number of people, at various times in their life, will believe that changes need to be made, and they will find their way to the gym or start eating healthier. Unfortunately when results don't come after a week or two, they get upset.
Last June I wrote an article about the importance of working out to feel better, as opposed to looking good. It isn't that I don't understand the motivation of looking good, but as a motivator, unless you're one of those rare people who are already in great shape, it's a terrible place to start. No one looks the way they want to look. Not even the celebrities you see in movies and in magazines. Movie and TV insiders will tell you about the transforming effects of hair and makeup specialists, not to mention our ability to digitally, err, enhance photos. And even if we finally get the build we want, what then? Too much hair on our body. We don't like our hips. Our ears are too high. Pretty soon we're lost in an egocentric world that revolves around us turning ourselves into a doll. The human experience should be more than that though, shouldn't it?
One of the first questions I ask my new clients is this: Why do you want to be fit? Why do you want to watch what you eat, spend hours cooking your own food, walk past the chips section in the grocery store, and get up at 5:30am on a cold, fall day to go for a run? If you can't answer the 'why' question, there's no point in starting a new fitness routine. You'll only end up being disappointed and bitter towards people who are in shape. And then you'll end up starting the blaming game. "That person has better genetics." "That person is not as busy as I am." "Of course they look good. They can afford to eat healthy! The rich always look good." And the blame game spills into other areas of our life as well. If we're not careful, pretty soon everything will be everybody else's fault and we'll have ceded control over our life completely. It sounds like I'm exaggerating, but I've seen it many, many times. I'll meet people I haven't talked to in years, who are thirty pounds heavier and truly bitter about it. Hey, there's nothing wrong with putting on weight (It's not healthy, but it's not like a crime or something.) Just don't blame others for it. Accept it. Accept control of your life. If you don't accept responsibility, you won't be able to address it.
The reason this happens so often is that people refuse to ask the "why" question. A healthy perspective goes a long way towards a consistent lifestyle change. One of my clients wants to be stronger so she can be more active with her young children. That's a great reason to get in shape! You see, if your 'why' answer has long term implications, and isn't completely vacuous, you will worry less about the results (what others see) and more about the process (how you feel). And when that happens, you'll be on your way to a very different life.
-Steve
